never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Life is so much better after having sex.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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