I think my vagina is haunted
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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