are you so shy because you have an std?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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