And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize