Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
