I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
How external is "for external use only"?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
