You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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