I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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