corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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