I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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