Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
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Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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