Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
