So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize