he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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