Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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