She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize