Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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