Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
