How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
