she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Still dying that you shit outside
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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