I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
