Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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