yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
