No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize