I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
well you can't waste a boner
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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