Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
whose parrot is this?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
