Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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