No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
