so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
