the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
