I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
