We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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