i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
