We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
