i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship