somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i wish my penis had a tongue
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!