All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.