She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
