I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize