Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
