Non-Jews are for practice
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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