I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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