I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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