Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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