so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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