I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
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It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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