Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
