Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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