Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
