so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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