Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
