My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
