We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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