Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
