Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i think i just lost a toe
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
