In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
