This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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