it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
