oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize