eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
