Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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