I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
