this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
