my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
